Ashes of Eden 2019 SPN J2 Big Bang Pg-13 Jared/Jensen  Jensen's life is idyllic, at least that is until he is abducted by a mysterious stranger and taken into a cabin in the woods.  Jared sees Jensen as the key to getting what he needs: a better life for himself and revenge against someone who deserves it.  But the more he begins to understand about the man he abducted, the less confident he feels in what felt like the perfect plan.  At first Jensen wants nothing more than to escape and get his life back on track, but in time he begins to question what it is he really wants.  As time passes and secrets are revealed, both men begin to learn more about themselves and each other, and must decide what they really want.

Art by liliaeth Art Post

All the Broken Pieces 2015 SPN J2 Big Bang, NC-17 Jared/Jensen, background Misha/Gen, A/B/O: Omegas are a blessing and Alphas are a curse.  Jensen has been told this his whole life, in the minds of others it goes to justify why all Alphas are enslaved and treated like nothing more than animals.  Jensen is an omega and despite what society and his parents may want him to believe he has never been able to see the slavery system as anything but barbaric.  Despite the circumstances he falls deeply, hopelessly in love with his Alpha slave Jared.  When a slave revolt leaves Jared free and Jensen in danger what they share will be put to the test.
Art byuke_sama_sensei Art Post

One Wrong Step NC-17 Jared/Jensen, Jared/Others A/B/O: werewolves don't typically have mated pairs. Packs have open relationships, and in a healthy pack sex can be an expression of anything from love, to comfort, or simply for pleasure. Jared's pack is anything but healthy. He is beaten and abused by the Alphas in his pack, and when they are seeking new lands he inadvertently winds up in a hunters trap. He is left behind by his pack, and saved by Jensen. The new pack embraces Jared and helps him heal. He enjoys exploring new, healthy, sexual adventures, but he still likes Jensen best.

My Heart Beats For You NC-17 Jared/Jensen From the moment Jared sees the reclusive Jensen he knows, without a doubt that they are meant to be together forever. And he will do whatever it takes to make that happen.

When Jensen's attempts to escape from his stalker unintentionally manages to bring them closer together the line between obsession and love starts to blur. Soon Jensen is no longer sure if he can escape from Jared, or if he really wants to.

Gods Among Men PG-13 Jared/Jensen/Misha Jensen lives a simple, but happy life teaching mythology at a university. But when Jared and Misha both come into his life he starts to understand that love takes many forms, and the gods of mythology he so dearly loves may have a more personal interest in him than he ever imagined.


Broken World PG-13, Ruby/Castiel The apocalypse comes and goes leaving Michael and Lucifer trapped in the cage, along with their vessels Sam and Dean. The world is broken and the survivors are left to pick up the pieces. Ruby is pregnant with Sams child and together she and Castiel set off to see what's left of the world and find there are somethings left saving after all.

Art by kuwlshadow Art Post

Little Bird G Dean/Castiel In the future, after the world doesn't end, Dean, Castiel and Sam buy a house and retire from hunting. Castiel spends his time reading, Sam is happy to embrace a quieter way of life, and Dean tries to adjust to life without hunting.

White Collar

Father's Day G Gen Neal and Peter celebrate Father’s Day together.

Ashes of Eden Chapter Four

A bell above the door rang softly as he opened the door and stepped inside the small shop. The woman at the counter looked up smiling. “Hi, can I help you with anything?”

“I saw the sign in the window. Are you still looking for someone?”

Her smile brightened, “That I am. It’s a small town and not many people are looking to work in a bookstore these days. It’s all about e-books, no one appreciates the beauty of ink and paper anymore.”

He looked around the shop, it was a small shop, but clean and the neat rows of books lined up gave it a charm all its own. The shop was free of flash and didn’t try to draw attention to itself, sitting quietly minding it’s own business, much like its owner. It was nothing like what he was used to, and exactly what he needed in his life.


She looked at him quizzically, “Are you sure? You don’t sound thrilled about it.”

“It’s…uh…my legal name, but I don’t usually go by it.” The name still didn’t fit him right. It was the name on his ID, so he was going to have to get used to it. But it didn’t feel like him.

“Okay…’Clarence.’ Is there something else I can call you?”

“Jensen.” Katherine had told him he could choose another name, something to go by if not his new ‘legal’ name. But there was nothing else that fit him quite right.

“Nice to meet you, Jensen. I’m Anna. Tell me, why do you want to work here? Have you ever worked in a bookstore before?”

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Ashes of Eden Chapter Three

He wanted to forget about his problems, and Jared had a solution, maybe not the one Jensen wanted, but one that seemed sufficient at the time.

So really it was Jared’s fault. That night he said he needed a drink, and what started with one shot turned into two. It wasn’t Jensen’s fault that he might have had one too many shots. Or perhaps three too many.

Jared watched with amusement as Jensen knocked over his glass and attempted to right it, only to give up. “Come on Jensen, I think it’s time to get you to bed.”

Jensen put his arms around Jared’s neck, pushing against him clumsily. His tone remained light, only slightly slurring his words. His smile was sloppy, and he smelled like whiskey. He had to give him credit, he wasn’t nearly as drunk as Jared had thought he would be by this point. But he was still drunk, and this was wrong. The other man was a warm weight against him, and as Jensen leaned in closer, it took an effort to make himself push him away. “Jensen, we can’t. This whole thing is too fucked up as it is. It wouldn't be right.” The last part was as much of a reminder to himself as it was Jensen. He had never been one to run from temptation, rather as Felicia had once accused him, he was more likely ‘to follow temptation home like a lost puppy.’ And the way Jensen was one temptation he didn’t want to run from.

Jensen made a frustrated noise, eyes narrowing, looking a bit like a pissed off cat. “Now you’ve decided to take the moral high ground.”

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Ashes of Eden Chapter One

He had been hearing the constant ticking of the countdown in his head for days. ‘In three days his life would be over.’ ‘In two days his life would be over…one day….thirteen hours…” And now it was finally time. And here he was standing alone in a dark alley behind a disreputable bar, very seriously wondering if this was all a set up. Maybe this was all a way to get his money. Hell, maybe this was aa plot by his father to once and for all test his loyalties. All his planning and plotting and hard work might all be for nothing. One way or another It would be over soon. Either his plan would come to fruition and he would be free, or this would all be a set up and he would be right back under his father’s control. There was no turning back now.
He met her behind a bar, somewhere he had never been before, and would never be again if all went according to plan. It wasn’t him. And in a way he still couldn’t believe he was going to do this. The creeping sense of impending doom hadn’t left him, he expected something to happen. He thought he saw movement out of the corner of his eye, he could swear the shadows were getting longer, stretching menacingly over him. He took a few deep breaths, trying to steady his nerves. It was times like this that he wished he smoked. Wasn’t that what people did? When something was going down, they would light up a cigarette to steady their frayed nerves. He supposed he could take it up. He could do anything now. Who he was, was about to die, and he could reinvent himself.

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Ashes of Eden Chapter Two

He went in and out of consciousness, never able to achieve a deep sleep, rather patches of restless sleep that eventually brought him to morning.

He was awoken by the sound of Jareds voice.

Jareds voice faced once more he laid still contemplating his situation. He had wanted to be free of his father, and now he was. It might not be the way he had been expecting, but here he was, far from the man who had controlled every aspect of his life. He closed his eyes, moving into a more comfortable position. He listened listening to the sounds of the forest, so different from the constant thrum of noise of the city. Under other circumstances it would have been peaceful, ideal.

He couldn’t quite make out the words but he could hear his voice was heated, and he was pacing again. There was the sound of another voice, higher than his, and he knew this must be the mysterious associate his kidnapper had been talking about. The pacing stopped, then started again. Eventually they moved further into the cabin and he wasn’t able to hear anything else. He listened to the silence for a while, and this time when he fell asleep he didn’t awake until it was light out.

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(no subject)

Title: Ashes of Eden
Word count: ~20,000
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/Character: Jensen/Jared
Warning: Language, past abuse (non-graphic), minor character death (not graphic), canon character death in non-canon ways, referenced suicide.

Summary:  Jensen's life is idyllic, at least that is until he is abducted by a mysterious stranger and taken into a cabin in the woods.  Jared sees Jensen as the key to getting what he needs: a better life for himself and revenge against someone who deserves it.  But the more he begins to understand about the man he abducted, the less confident he feels in what felt like the perfect plan.  At first Jensen wants nothing more than to escape and get his life back on track, but in time he begins to question what it is he really wants.  As time passes and secrets are revealed, both men begin to learn more about themselves and each other, and must decide what they really want.

A/N: I'd like to thank my absolutely wonderful artist liliaeth.  She was very patient and understanding with all my real life set backs.  And it was a lot of fun working with her and I am extremely impressed by the wonderful art she was able to make for this story.  She really captured the feeling of the story and I really appreciate all the work she put into it!

Thank you to my wonderful real life beta (who currently doesn't have an LJ account) who was able to help me make this story so much better!

A/N 2: I will post this to AO3.  But I'm going to wait a bit.  This story is complete and works as it is.  But while writing this I went through pretty serious real life loss.  Because of this, this story is missing many of the elements I had originally planned on putting into it.  I might end up posting these as time stamps.  But I'd like to take another pass and see if I can incoorporate the added scenes into the story before posting to AO3.

My Heart Beats For You Chapter Six

When the truck came to a halt. the bottom dropped out of his stomach. “We’re here!” Jared’s voice was upbeat, nothing to betray that he had just abducted someone. He heard the door on the driver’s side open and close and Jensen stayed still focusing on breathing. His door opened and then there was a hand on his arm guiding him out of the truck and onto the ground. Gravel crunched beneath his feet and he listened for any other sound that might indicate where they were. The air smelled like pine trees and he could hear the song of birds close by, but there was nothing else. No sound of traffic. Which gave him an idea of where they were, but not one that he liked. Jared was leading him, excitedly talking and, all Jensen caught were snatches of his words: “you’ll love it here!” and “don’t worry, everything is blind-friendly.” Jared took him up two steps onto a wooden porch that creaked under his feet. There was a pause and the jingle of keys and then a door creaking open. Jared guided him past the threshold and into the house.

“I wanted to wait to show you until everything was ready. I’ve been working on this ever since I realized we were going to be together. It should have everything you need. I know you’re going to like living here with me. I got this place a long time ago, I wanted somewhere out of the way. Somewhere quiet and away from people.”
Jensen’s heart sank at that. It was a confirmation of what he had feared that they were far from civilization.

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Dear Author

Dear Yuletide Author, the very fact that we matched on any of these fandoms means I already like you. Thank you so much for writing something for me! I can't wait to see what you come up with! <3

For ease of reading I've put headers to each section in bold so you can skip over the parts you may not be interested in. My ao3 username is OhWilloTheWisp and can be found here: Ao3

I provided prompts because I find they be helpful with this sort of thing. If you aren’t inspired by any of my prompts you really don’t need to write anything that fills any of them. Believe me, I won’t mind. The order of the shows listed and number of prompts provided does not denote preference. I love all of these fandoms and characters equally and will be happy with whatever I get.

I adore all my requested fandoms and characters. I will be extremely happy with anything written for any of these fandoms. :) I'm good with any rating level, but if there is explicit content I'd prefer to be a part of a larger story and not PWP. I've listed my ships for each fandom, but I love gen/canon based fics and am in no way trying to imply I'd only be happy with a ship based story.

Things I like: I read a lot of different genres of stories. There isn’t a lot that I won’t read, but in general some things I am particularly fond of: pregnancy (including mpreg), fluff, domesticity, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, canon verse, canon divergent, or canon changes (like canon set in an A/B/O world), AUs, A/B/O (especially Omegas are treasured AUs), clothes sharing, bed sharing. I am a sucker for a happy ending. Happy endings are what make me want to read a story over and over. Basically you can make the story as dark and angsty or as fluffy as you like, as long as it has a happy ending I will love it.

Things I do not want: Non-con/extreme dub-con, underage, PWP, ambiguous or unhappy endings, (permanent) major character death, serial killers, graphic gore or torture, infidelity, character bashing.

Under The Dome

Requested characters: Hunter May, Dale "Barbie" Barbara. Gen, Barbie/Hunter, Barbie/Julia or Barbie/Julia/Hunter. I'm only requesting Hunter and Barbie for this, but I do love Julia so I'd prefer no infidelity. This could be an AU where Barbie and Julia never got together, or if you'd prefer not to mention Julia at all I'll just assume her and Barbie aren't together. The exception to this would be the canon AU between seasons two and three when Barbie thinks Julia is dead (I'm completely open to Barbia ending up with Hunter instead of Eva).

1. After admitting that he had been working for Barbie's dad, Hunter tries to make it up to Barbie. Completely open to how this goes, I would just really love something with Hunter trying to show how sorry he is for betraying Barbie.

2. Life outside the dome. This could be something based after the show ended, during the alternate reality between seasons two and three, or a canon divergence from any part of the show with the dome coming down or Hunter and Barbie escaping from it. Basically anything exploring what life's like for them outside the dome.

3. Manhandling, because it's canon and I kind of love that part of their relationship.

4. Barbie being protective of/protecting Hunter from something or someone.

5. After season two (either in the alternate reality or canon divergence and the dome really does come down) Barbie's father isn't going to let Hunter go, not knowing what Hunter knows. Barbie's father tries to keep Hunter under his control and Barbie helps/saves him.

6. I love "what comes next fics" so something with what happens after the show (canon or au) would be great!

7. I'm in love with hunter and barbies characters so anything focusing on them in any capacity would be greatly appreciated!

Big Wolf on Campus

Requested characters/pairings: Tommy, Merton. Gen or Tommy/Merton

I absolutely love this show, it was my favorite show when I was young, and I still periodically watch through it. There is something undeniably charming and fun about Tommy and Merton's relationship. I would be happy with absolutely anything with these two! Feel free to include any other characters/OCs you want. The only thing I ask is no explicit content. Fade to black/implied sexual situations is perfectly fine, just nothing too graphic.


1. Life after the show. Where did they go? What did they do? What was college life like for them? Or future fics with them later in life, what they are doing, what are their lives like?

2. I love all the odd creatures featured on the show, something with new monsters not seen on the show could be a lot of fun.

3. Road trip fics are a favorite of mine and I can see a road trip being a great opportunity for adventure for these two!

4. The fun of this show was how out there it was. I'm open to anything set in this verse at any time, just have fun and I'll be happy. :)

Pushing Daisies
Pairings: Ned/Chuck, Olive/Ned/Chuck, Gen

Prompts: I don't have anything specific I'm looking for. Anything written in this world would be very welcome! Maybe seeason three or what happens next for them. Either an established relationship or a get together fic is welcome. Case fics are always good with this show (a new case or something based in one of the canon cases.). Basically I'm in love with this show and I'd love anything you choose to write in it!

For olive/Ned/Chuck femmeslash is welcome but not necessary. Jealousy is perfectly fine as long as it's resolved by the end. The only thing I ask with this is that by the end everyone is in a happy, threeway relationship.

Broken world

Ruby had done a lot of things in her long and sordid career as a demon, all in the name of freeing Lucifer.  She had devoted herself fully and completely to him, to doing his will and brining him forth.  The Winchesters might not think demons have faith, but they do.  Ruby was the most devote of them all.  She would do anything in the name of that faith.  But she had never imagined she would find herself stuck doing babysitting duty to a church mouse like Anna.  Ruby was powerful beyond what the Winchester’s knew, beyond what anyone knew, the only notable exception being Lilith.  Lilith was the only one who knew what Ruby was capable of.  And yet here she was in an abandoned cabin alone with Anna, while the Winchesters were probably off getting themselves killed and spoiling all of her plans.  But this was important, Anna was important.  The angels wanted Anna dead.  At least they had that in common.

“Thank you, you saved me.”  Anna’s soft voice was dripping with honey sweet sincerity and if Ruby was capable of feeling such emotions it might have made her feel guilty.

Ruby waved a hand dismissively, “It’s fine really, saving the lost and helpless has become somewhat of a hobby as of late.”  It was true, in a way, if it wasn’t for her then Sam and Dean and countless others would be dead.  And besides, what she was doing wasn’t wrong.  She was bringing forth Lucifer, an archangel.  He might not be the god the Winchesters wanted, but he was the best thing that could happen to this world.  She wasn’t lying to them, well she was, but at least on one point she was telling the truth.  She remembered what it meant to be human.  She remembered how cold and evil men could be.  She remembered in her final moments crying out to God in a desperate hope, clinging to the possibility of light even as darkness took her.  Her prayers were answered when she woke up in Hell.  God might have ignored her prayers, but at least Lucifer had been listening.  The god that had created the world had left it to go to Hell.  If he didn’t plan on intervening to save it, then that said all she needed to know.  At least Lucifer wanted to have a hand in the way the world worked.  Lucifer wasn’t damnation, he was salvation, and even if he couldn’t see it now, eventually Sam would understand that.

“If it weren’t for you and Sam and Dean I’d be dead right now.  I don’t know what’s going on, but I know God sent you.  I don’t think you appreciate what that means to me, that you were there when I needed, need, someone the most.”

She put one hand against Ruby’s cheek and leaned in and kissed her, softly, hesitantly.   It only lasted a moment before she pulled back, looking embarrassed.  “I’m sorry, that was…I don’t know what came over me.”  Ruby could still feel the warmth from where Anna had touched her, she wanted to pull Anna against her and show her to kiss someone properly.

Instead she asked what had been bothering her since she met the girl, “Why aren’t you afraid of me?  Wasn’t your father a pastor?  Didn’t he teach you to be afraid of demons?  Shouldn’t you be hiding under the bed, or something?”

“My father taught me about good and evil, it’s what a person chooses that makes them who they are.  It doesn’t matter that you’re a demon.  You have a good heart, I can feel it.”

No one had ever said that about her.  Even Sam didn’t believe she was good.  At his best he saw them as two fucked up people who had come together out of desperation and need.  He saw her as his best, and only, option.  He never said she was good, never even tried to pretend he thought she “had a good heart.”  He was right of course.  Ruby took Anna’s hand and put it over her heart.

“Can you feel that?  My heart doesn’t beat.  My heart is as dead as I am.  I don’t have a good heart; I don’t have a heart at all.”  She didn’t know why she was doing this.  She was fighting against Anna’s faith in her.  It was beneficial that Anna believed she was good, she didn’t know why she was trying to make Anna see her for what she was.

“I know what you’re trying to do, you don’t believe in yourself.  You don’t believe that when it comes down to it you can make choose the right path.  I’ve seen evil, I’ve seen its true form.  And I can see you, past the body you wear, and you are beautiful.   And I know you don’t believe that, but it doesn’t matter, because I believe in you.”

Ruby didn’t know what to say to that, so she didn’t say anything at all.  She would let the church mouse believe what she wanted.  There was no reason to take away her faith.  Ruby was going to end the world, but she could afford to let Anna believe in her lies.  Anna’s belief was so sincere that for just a moment Ruby was almost able to believe it herself.
All of her hard work was finally coming to fruition, it wouldn’t be long before Lilith would be dead, Sam’s power was undeniable and Lilith didn’t stand a chance.  She should be happy, elated that this was finally happening, after all of her hard work.  But all she could think of was Anna.  Anna was an angel, one that had fought against Lucifer, tried to keep Lilith from breaking the seals.  She could only imagine what would happen to her when Lucifer rose.  And everything she wanted, everything she worked for, everything she thought she wanted, none of it mattered now.  Now that it was finally happening, now that it was all falling into place, all she could think of was Anna.  It may have taken her death and becoming a demon to finally see it, but for the first time she understood what it meant to have something worth sacrificing everything for.

“Sam, wait!”  She put a hand on his arm to try and stop him, but it was no use.  Her revelation had come too late, Lilith was dead and Lucifer was rising.

The moment she saw Dean come bursting through the church doors she knew what was coming.  She had been to Hell and now she was going to die, again, and she didn’t know what came next.  She didn’t know what awaited a demon on the other side, but it couldn’t be good.  Nothing in her life had ever been good.  That wasn’t true; there had been one bright light in all the darkness
“Sam, wait!”  She put a hand on his arm to try and stop him, but it was no use.  Her revelation had come too late, Lilith was dead and Lucifer was rising.

The moment she saw Dean come bursting through the church doors she knew what was coming.  She had been to Hell and now she was going to die, again, and she didn’t know what came next.  She didn’t know what awaited a demon on the other side, but it couldn’t be good.  Nothing in her life had ever been good.  That wasn’t true; there had been one bright light in all the darkness.  In the final moment she thought of the face of an angel and felt peace before darkness fell.


She came to, suddenly, taking in a deep breath that filled her aching chest with air.  She was cold and alone and only distantly aware that she should be in a lot of pain.  Instead she felt better than she had, well ever.  Who she was and why she was there were distant and she knew she didn't want to remember.  She looked around shifting on the cold stone floor, trying to get a handle on her bearings.  The memories started to push in against her consciousness.  There had been shouting then blinding pain, then nothing.  She didn't want to remember.   She rolled onto her side and tried to push back against the memories that surfaced.  There was no helping it.  She remembered.  Lucifer had risen, then Sam and Dean had killed her.  She should have seen it coming; death followed the Winchesters wherever they went.  And she had been naïve to think Sam would be onboard with her plan, once he found out what was really going on.  They were supposed to rule in the new world together, side by side, enjoying all the rewards deserving of those who had brought forth the morning light himself.  Instead she had been willing to give up everything to save just one angel.  She had gotten everything she had worked for, but all she felt was cold and empty.

She sat up, wondering how it was she was alive, she had died, again.  And the first time it had happened she had woken up somewhere hot and far less pleasant than the decrepit church she was in now.  It must have been Lucifer; he was as am archangel after all.  He had this kind of power.  It appeared that even if Sam had forsaken her, her lord had not.

She didn't know what to do or where to go.  She had been brought back, no doubt as a reward for her loyalty to Lucifer.  But now she was left without direction.

She put a hand to her stomach trying to get a handle on her emotions.  The spark she had felt before was still there, still with her.  She had wanted to tell Sam, she wanted to tell him he was going to be a father.  But then that would have distracted him from his purpose, he had to stay focused.  She would have told him after.  That was the plan anyway.  But now Sam was gone and it was too late.  She had finally found something worth fighting for but she had found it once it was too late to turn back.  She closed her eyes and did something she hadn’t done in a long time – she prayed.  She prayed to Lucifer or God or Michael or whoever was left listening.  Someone had to  be there, someone had brought her back, it was only fair that they answer her now.  If they had brought her back they must want something from her, might as well find out what that was.  But her prayers were left unanswered and she was left alone in the cold and the dark.  She stood slowly, gingerly and climbed over the rubble of what was left of the church.

She wasn’t surprised by the destruction she encountered, trees and grass had been charred.  Nothing was left alive, save for her, and really, she hadn’t been alive in a long time.  She made her way to the road and began walking, but the destruction she had encountered didn’t end with the church.  It became less severe the further out she went, but the trees were still broke, and the road was broken in places.  Most notably there was a distinct lack of people.  She could always hear them, the low thrum of life all around her, the signs of humanity, but they were all ostensibly missing.  Maybe this was Lucifer’s doing.  Maybe this was the paradise he had promised, a world free of the scourge of humanity.  For paradise this wasn’t what she had pictured.  She had pictured standing by Sam’s side and watching the world burn, cleansed to be brought new.  But this was desolate, empty.  Maybe it wasn’t the world she had been hoping for.  But it wasn’t just the world that was different.  She felt different.  It wasn’t quite something she could pinpoint, she hurt all over, she had been through Hell, a few aches should be this noticeable.  But something had changed, she wasn’t herself.  Her body remained tense and on guard as she walked, she was aware of every noise, careful of every step.  Something had happened and she still didn’t have a handle on it.  She was very nearly alone.  The only presence left that she could feel was that of her unborn child, a still small spark safe within her.  She didn’t miss the soft rustle of feathers behind her back and she paused before slowly turning to see who it was.

It was Castiel, looking as serious as ever, trench coat and all.  “Well, if you’re going to kill me, I guess I can’t really complain.  I suppose a person can only come back to life so many times.”  She tried to sound glib, but it was difficult to quell the growing fear.  She had her new found life, she didn’t want to give it up again.   But it was more than just her life she was worrying about, her hand going almost unconsciously to her stomach.

“I’m not here to harm you, or your child.  I’m here to help you.”

Well that was just about the last thing she was expecting.  “And why might you do that?”  In general angels didn’t take a favorable view of demons and she saw no reason this should be different.
“I know you are carrying Sam’s child.  Whatever else may have happened your child is innocent.  And I believe you were brought back for a reason.  There are few forces powerful enough to bring back the dead, and your life, I believe, is evidence of my father’s lingering presence in the world.”
She disagreed, she was quite certain Lucifer, or Sam, or Samifer had brought her back as a reward for her loyalty.  But she wasn’t going to correct the angel if it meant he was going to help her.

He filled her in on what had happened while she had been gone.  She wasn’t sure what had happened to her in the interim.  She didn’t remember heaven or Hell or anything in between.  It had been just like going to sleep and waking back up.  But while she had been away Sam had said yes to Lucifer, and Michael had convinced Dean he could save Sam and destroy Lucifer, if only Dean said yes to him as well.  They had their final battle and in the end they had only managed to kill one another, taking a good portion of the world along with them.  So now the world lay broken, claimed by neither heaven nor hell.  It appeared, in the end, everyone had lost.  And what was left of humanity was left to pick up the pieces.

Castiel was true to his word, taking care of her, and protecting her.  He took her to a hotel he had found, somewhere they could rest and regroup.

Chapter Two
The hotel was empty when they arrived, as least it was empty as far as she was concerned.  She didn’t endeavor to determine if there was anyone residing in any of the rooms.  If they weren’t inclined to bother them, she was willing to  leave whoever, or whatever, was there alone.  She slid beneath the sheets, grateful for their warmth.  She didn’t do well in the cold.  Maybe it was a demon thing, she wasn’t really sure.  Maybe she had always had a problem with the cold.  She wished she could remember more of her former life.  Most of it was hazy, with patches that came in perfectly clear.  Like seeing landmarks in a heavy fog.  There were aspects she could remember clearly, and parts she couldn’t forget no matter how hard she tried.  But most of it was lost in the haze.  Did she always like fries?  Did she always have a problem with the cold?   Did she prefer tulips or roses, or maybe lilies?  They were all lost to.  All the small details that made up who a person was, and they were all lost to her.

She supposed Sam and Dean probably thought she had been lying about the whole thing.  But she wasn’t.  She remembered being human, and she remembered exactly what that meant.  But that was exactly why she had done what she did.  She remembered what it meant to be human and that was why she thought the world deserved to end.  Lucifer was supposed to come with his cleansing fire and make the world right, he was going to fix everything.   Humanity was the worst thing to have ever happened to the world.  Lucifer was going to fix all of that.  But none of it had gone according to plan.  Now they were all gone.  Sam, Lucifer, Dean and Michael, they were all dead.  And she was left alone, in a world that was past saving.  She tried to block the thoughts out of her mind.  But it was difficult and they kept pushing in.

The bed creaked in protest and she felt the mattress depress behind her.  A trench coat clad arm wrapped around her middle.

She sighed heavily, “Castiel, what are you doing?”

“Physical contact is supposed to be of comfort while sleeping.”

“Angels don’t sleep.”

“Neither do demons.”

There was a heavy silence after that, and she wondered if Castiel was waiting for her to say something.  She tried to think of a good response, before finally settling on the truth. 

“I’m still trying to get used to that part again.  Maybe I was brought back wrong.”

“It is possible, it is also possible that the baby is effecting you.  Maybe your body is adapting to it’s needs.”

She didn’t try to be surprised at his words.  He knew, of course he knew.  Stupid angels had to know everything that happened.  She didn’t respond.  She didn’t know what to say.

“Did Sam know?”

“No, I was going to tell him.  I kept trying to, but I wasn’t sure how he would take it.  I thought I could tell him…after.  I tried to stop him, you know.  At the last minute I called out to him, I tried to tell him to stop, but it was already too late.”

“We both could have done more to prevent this.  For our own reasons we both believed we were doing to right thing.  Now it’s too late and we both must live with the consequences.”

“Well, aren’t you just a ball of positivity.”  The angel didn’t respond and she considered tell him to leave, but there wasn’t much point.  For good or bad they were in this together.

Chapter Three

“So, the world just ended, what are you going to do now?”  She tried to keep her tone upbeat, not that it mattered.

“There is very little of my father’s creation left.  I’d like to see as much of it as I can, before it’s gone forever.”

She clapped her hands together decisively.  “The world’s most depressing road trip it is!  I’m game!  I mean, it’s not like I have anything better to do.  I have something penciled in for about nine months down the line, but until then, I’m all yours.  Where to first?”

It wasn’t exactly difficult to find a car that worked, they had plenty to choose from.  It didn’t take her long to hotwire one and get it going.  They drove in silence past crumbling building and burnt trees.  The further into the country they got, the more normal things looked.  The world, it would seem, wasn’t entirely ruined.  In fact, much of it seemed entirely intact, perfectly preserved, as if simple abandoned.  People had just up and left everything behind.  She contemplated what it must have been like for them.  To go from not believing in angels, beyond an abstract metaphysical concept, to finding out two archangels were about to end the world.  To have your world both expanded and ended in one day, that must have been something alright.

Castiel gave her directions and when he finally told her to stop, she pulled up a dirt drive and stopped in front of a building.
She wanted to ask Cas if he still about Dean, still thought about him when they were together.  She missed Sam, of course she did, but Cas was much more than just a warm body to fill his place.  She wanted to know that she was more than that to Cas.  She wanted to tell him that she wouldn’t compete with a ghost, that she wouldn’t play second fiddle to Dean fucking Winchester.  She wanted to tell him that if he wanted to be with her, he had to be with her, not the just using her as a place holder for the one he really wanted.  But she couldn’t bring herself to say it.  She didn’t get to want things anymore.  She had helped to break the world.  She didn’t get to make demands.  She had to be happy with what goodness there was left in it, what she hadn’t broken.  So they laid there in the silence and the dark a world of unspoken words stretching out between them.

They continued on like that.  They would travel stopping along the way at whatever tourist traps Castiel found along the way.  Sometimes they were odd, like the giant balls of twine, and sometimes they were just restaurants or shops, whatever was left of them.  It was anything that caught Castiel’s eye along the way, and she went along with it.  She was a drift, in a way, Castiel one of her last anchors to the world.  But beneath it all she felt the slow ticking of the clock as the days passed one into another.  It was a silent timer inside of her head – counting down – nine months left, 8 months left, and on it went.  Eventually as her time grew closer they were going to have to settle down somewhere safe. 

She watched the sunrise outside of the window, the golden-red rays casting long shadows and the turning the walls the color of blood.  During the night Castiel had wrapped his arm around her waist, one hand resting on the curve of her belly.  She listened to the sound of breathing, her baby was still, a hush fallen over the world.   'Angels don't sleep,' Castiel had said that the first night he had laid down to sleep next to her.  Now as she listened to the even sound of his breathing she knew she wasn't the only one who was changing.  She wanted to believe the arm around her was possessive, that it was more than just her child that Castiel wanted to protect.  But she couldn't kid herself. He loved humanity, he had fallen for it.  He wanted to protect what amounted to the last remnants of it, the only thing left of the Winchesters that he had loved.  He had fallen for them, for humanity, not for her.  She had done horrible deeds, even before she was a demon.  Even as a human she had done more harm than good, she didn't deserve to be loved.

She heard Castiel’s breathing change indicating that he had woken up, but he didn’t move.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning,” his voice was sleep rough.

He must be aware that he was becoming less angelic, but he didn’t comment and neither did she.
She felt him starting to stir, shifting to get out of bed, she assumed.  She spoke up, partly to keep him from leaving and partly before she lost her nerve again.

“Am I going to Hell?”  It had been worrying her, Hell was an unpleasant place, even for demons, but now the thought of her child ascending to heaven while she was went to Hell, spending an eternity seperated, was unbearable.

“No.”  Castiel’s reply should have been comforting but she was having trouble believing.

“You sound sure.” She replied.

“You are human now, with a human soul, that gives you a second chance.  The victims of my father’s plan will go to heaven, a compensation, I suppose, for the part they played.”

“And that’s what I am?  A victim?”  She asked.

“Yes, events were set in motion from the beginning of time that would lead to the end of the world.
You were instrumental in the divine plan.”  His voice sounded hollow and bitter.  “You believed in a distant father that was supposed to fix all the ills of the world.  Even if you had put your faith in God, not Lucifer, the result would have been the same.  Every path led here. You greatest sin was your faith.  You were as much a pawn in all of this as the Winchesters themselves.”

“What about you?  Will you ever return to heaven?”  It shouldn’t have been the most pressing question at that moment, but the thought of going to Heaven was a cold comfort if it meant being separated from her angel.

He sighed, his breath warm against the back of her neck.  “I’m not sure I would be welcome there anymore.”

“Stay with me, wherever I go I want you by my side, whatever that might mean.  Never leave me, Cas, whatever happens, promise me we’ll be together.”  Perhaps it was reckless and stupid to lay herself so bare, but she had nothing left to lose. 

“I promise.”  It was simple, but his words were enough.

She had put her faith in Lucifer, and she had put her faith in Sam.  She had thought they would be together for an eternity, they would rule the new world side by side.  But both had betrayed her.  Maybe this time she had found the right person to put her faith in.  Whatever it meant, whatever they were to each other, she didn’t need to define it, she just needed him.  Everything else could fade away as long as they could be together, be the family she never thought she could have.

Chapter Four

She stared in wonder, at their destination.  This was what it had all been leading up to, and she was having a hard time not being overwhelmed by it. 

“I remember the creation of the Grand Canyon.  It was solid rock, watching it split open was beautiful.”  Castiel remarked, awe tinging his voice.

Ruby simply nodded, that would have been something to see.  It was a testament, no matter how much of the world was destroyed, God’s creation still remained intact.  Not all of the world was ephemeral it would seem.  She put a hand over her rounded belly as she looked out.  They would have to come back here someday, when her child was old enough to appreciate it.  She liked the idea, that there was still beauty left in the world for her baby to see one day.

Seeing the Grand Canyon felt like an ending in a way, their journey’s end.  After that they settled down into the business of, well, settling down.  It took sometime and effort but they finally found a place that was suitable.  It had once been a bar, and though it was still mostly in tact, the owners had since abandoned it.  They went about fixing it up and getting things ready.  They decided to turn it into a new Roadhouse.  It would be a haven or a rest stop for anyone who needed it. 

In those days it was becoming easier for Ruby to settle into her new life.  She couldn’t exactly forget what she had done, but since no one knew her, and only Castiel knew the part she played in the end of the world, it was easy enough to pretend she had always been human.  She wasn’t a demon anymore, and being human was taking some getting used to, but it was becoming easier with each passing day.

Ruby held her new daughter in her arms, watching the child sleep.  “Samantha,” she said quietly, not looking up when Castiel came up beside her.  She didn’t save Sam, but she a part of him would continue on.  All the souveniers and post cards she had collected along their journey were spread out across the shelves in the room.  She would keep them safe and show Samantha when she was old enough, and they would explain the significance of each one to her.  It wasn’t much, but it was pieces, evidence of what the world had once been.  She could make sure that the best of what had been would go on, in some small way at least.  She had helped break the world, but she could help fix it.